2023 is nearly half over, and I am grateful: For a blossoming relationship, goals that push me forward, and the return to regular volunteering. I have tried to stay present this month. This grounding brought joy, as well as ample progress to many goals. So let’s dive in!
I have committed to the following goals in May 2023:
- Support a nonprofit once/month
- Make art for its own sake once/week
- Run for fun once/week
- Continue swapping to vegan wares
- Research grad schools
Spring in Denver brings more outdoor activities, including shows. While I am not the one making art, I am playing a larger role in Levitt Pavilion this summer. Whether it’s helping with ticketing or supporting new volunteers, I am having fun exposing myself to this side of the city. Fishbone, Violent Femmes, and upcoming Devothka are gigs across genres, reaching so many individuals and families. I feel lucky that both my hometown and the home I chose value collective music. Levitt’s a nonprofit, too!
Other nonprofit support includes PawsCo. I went to my first dog adoption event as a brewery. Seeing our reach was incredible, as people from all walks of life (pun intended) can be impacted by pets. I am also deciding how to support Pro Animal Future and met with them for backend support. While much is front of house, like canvassing, my introversion and techy brain have ideas! I feel empowered to use both my technical skills, as well as creative prowess, for many organizations!
But art for its own sake, you say? I am considering learning Ableton software and teach myself EDM (electronic dance music) production! This could really scratch my storytelling itch, and its timeline mechanics are reminiscent of videography, something I dearly miss. Especially because my musical skills are more how sound is produced, not necessarily from an instrument, I think this kind of tinkering will bring me a sense of discovery.
Additional artmaking include the weekly crapbook, of course, as well as some new activities! I finally found just the frame for my feminist collection, a 2X2 frame, and it’s filled with gems “females support females” and “my existence isn’t dependent on your acceptance.” Another arty experience was dressing up in modernist clothing for a photoshoot, as part of Mar’s bach party! Playing dress-up was an empowering, wholesome experience for all. These shared memories will fuel her and Aaron’s upcoming wedding.
I am grateful for this photoshoot because though I am still walking every day, and doing my best to run every other, my body is changing. “Child-rearing age” is real, and it’s not just affecting my proportions. I have to give myself grace, as my weight is shifting. I can control my self-talk and am working to stretch and hydrate regularly. Is my body simply tired, and I am putting too much pressure on my goal of “fun” runs? Perhaps “fun” can have different definitions, based on the day. Finding flow during exercise is important to me, such as leaving the phone, and seeing turtles, lobsters, and a whole bunch of birds instead of my pace or endurance. Acknowledging that my pace is sometimes slower, “fun” can also mean just enjoying my space and dedication to this habit.
I am in a new relationship, too, and that means I’m going out more. Even though he respects my plants-based lifestyle, dates do involve more: More socialization, more self-awareness, and more chances for alcohol, salt, or sugar. And so even though my vegan (and sober) journey is indeed my own, there are other dietary items to consider. How will I manage veganism during the summer, where work’s salad bar will not be available? And where will I write? Even thought the writing chair was helpful, it will soon no longer be my possession, happily, due in part to its leather upholding. And returning this chair feels symbolic, too, as it was a temporary gift from my ex-boyfriend.
My ex did a lot of a research on that chair, and so did I. One of the last big changes of the month was applying to grad school, and that process is now complete! Life is on the precipice of significantly changing: From going back to school for information (just narrow enough of a discipline that a Master’s makes sense but wide enough that I can explore through professional experiences), to dating again, from transitioning my diet to more plants-based, to updating work flow; life feels full, fun, and in transition.
May 2023 brought some progress to these goals:
- Read through bookshelf
- Develop daily ab routines
One of the key changes year over year is my approach to reading. While one of my goals is to read through my bookshelf, I have not given myself the time to really pour over pages that have barely been open, and instead I find myself turning to old favorites, even using some for this month’s book research on energy. May marks the first time I’ve used my own collection, instead of going to the library, for Omit to Commit. And it was a deep dive on a cause close to me, sources of energy, so it made sense to source my own books.
One of my key reasons for living a values-based life is seeing, breaking down, and actually doing what brings me joy, and it’s possible that “read through my bookshelf” isn’t as fun as I first thought because there’s still indecisiveness, instead of direction. And there’s fear, too: I am nervous that childhood books won’t be as effective now, so I have yet to re-read all of A Series of Unfortunate Events. So how can I make this reading habit more joyful?
Feedback from others helps, even for a seemingly solidarity activity as reading, because it brings connection and joy. Whether it’s comments on my website or sharing thoughts on my book’s Instagram profile, this dedication of sharing time and thoughts means a lot! These are insights, and comments show the work I’m doing has value. Resonating with people is key in self-help because while helping myself is important, I don’t want to be a case study of one, shaped by own subjective experiences, resources, and relationships. Another way I am making reading more fun is my feminist book club, and this month’s Girl, Interrupted brought a hard, important conversation on mental health, stigma, and growth. Maybe I should join a book club where adults read middle grade books?
Life should be fun, once and a while, and I’m learning what exercises challenge me just enough. And some ab routines do just that! At Marissa’s bachelorette, we did an unconventional ab workout, learning to dance on poles! And I think that environment, surrounded by positivity, can inspire more ways of looking at exercise. Moving my body almost always ends with good feeling. So I hope to keep honing that value of doing then feeling, more than the result. This is capitalism at work: Believing the product matters more than the process. In reality, I care more about sustaining an ab (run, art, etc.) practice.
In May 2023, I omitted the following annual goals:
- Take myself on weekly dates
- Start designing tiny house
- Visit France
While my boyfriend(!) and I are both introverts and hang out about twice a week, applying to grad school, (re)introducing volunteer activities like Levitt, and work’s end-of-year calendar were my priorities. Self-dates were smaller, if at all, such as running to a coffee shop, and strolling back. This summer, as I transition to part-time, I will bring back weekly self-dates, tag-teamed with other goals, such as art walks. Maybe that’s where tiny house designing can come in?
As I shared in past posts, I am less focused on the tiny house, not only because the organization was blatantly lying on funding, but because I have different dreams. But this means I need to omit some goals. And right now, stable rent makes sense. This home has helped me find joy in routine, too. I know where trails and tacos are in proportion to this space. The people here are kind, supportive, and thoughtful. I don’t have to run away from feeling big feelings, and I don’t always have to be “on” either. Some nights I simply type away (like tonight) while others are movie nights with the fam or date days.
And because this is home, I don’t feel a need to travel, just because. It helps that I have trips to look forward to, whether it’s mini-vacations throughout CO or Mar and Ar’s upcoming wedding. Visiting them for an extended weekend scratched some of my travel urge. But I don’t think France is in my future anytime soon. But something’s calling me to Spain or Mexico?
Looking back, May 2023 was full of service to self and others. I am grateful for this space to share what works and what doesn’t while also diving into some context. If my thoughts help you, or if you’d like to share some goals progress, please leave a comment! I’d love to hear how this year’s shaping up! Thanks, and I’ll see you June 10th for “Inner Compass” part 6!