Last month’s experiment was empower, focused on my intra and interpersonal relationships. It led to so many questions. What am I empowered to change in my own life? How can I show up as my full self, at my various professional roles, within my new relationship, while being a student, at church, and while volunteering (and so much more)? When will I realize that my story is my own to share and (re)claim as it as mine to promote, preserve, or even omit (#omit2commit)?
Such promotion and preservation of self and story may look like owning space(s) I have made and/or taking advantage of avenues that already exist. Cognitively, I know it is absolutely okay to not reveal it all. There is simply too much to share, to feel, to be, and to do. Emotionally, I know my predisposition to waterfall, overflowing with feeling when a person or place feels safe. I am an introverted feeler (yo, my personality type is INFJ-A, after all). Intuitively, extending the waterfall metaphor, this stream sometimes minimizes spaces for other perspectives, thoughts, feelings, or bigger themes than what’s in front of me.
Details make me who I am. I genuinely love how much attention I give to the little quiet joys and overcomer stories. It makes me empathetic. But it’s not the full picture. With this self-awareness (and self-compassion) of getting lost in the sauce in mind:
Owning my spaces means I’m reclaiming my story.
How I show up is one leg of this journey. Honoring my presence means I need to be there for me, regardless of who I am with or where I am (last month’s experiment was on empowerment in relationships, read April 10th’s post here). By trying to give less weight to external stimuli, my energy (re)centers on me.
I’m trying to not be selfish or standoffish. Instead, I aim to be empowered in how I show up in all known and unknown spaces. This personal call to action allows me to be me and hopefully gives space for others to be comfortable in sharing themselves, too.
Folks, we’re all on a journey here on this lil’ ol’ speck. Through acknowledging the potentially solo and shared trying, I become brave, more complete, vulnerable and sensitive, stable yet sometimes stubborn, curious, hopeful. And hopefully, so do you.
I am actively working toward reclaiming my space. My story. My sense(s) of self. Owning it all (some of it) feels like I am in recovery from so much:
- Hyper-fixations on perfection, which I know doesn’t exist but have previously experienced constant vigilance to get to the 100 anyway
- Relationships or personal/professional environments that did not serve me, but I still spent so much energy being “on” or “enough” for them
- All or nothing behaviors, such as obsessing over veganism, exercise, and even sobriety, while some sort of moderation is still healthy as I am only human #SoberJourney
My experiment for the next 30 days will be to create spaces of reclaiming and restoring:
- Reclaim my space: Life’s not about the absence or excess of stuff. So, stop letting it take ahold of me. Give space for all my layers, including occasional bits of maximalism in style. Minimalism in home. Essentialism at my core. What’s your spaces?
- Reclaim my story: Time to make some reframes for the stories that feel “ick” or not quite me. Maybe I haven’t always felt empowered? Or some words have hurt, so I am rewriting the narratives I tell myself.
- Reclaim myself: What little bits of time and space can I create, even if it’s just a new 10-minute ritual? Bringing life back to myself, such as my child self, sometimes just takes a few minutes or new choices, like tie-dyed t-shirts and sprinkles in oatmeal.
All of this may convert into my LLC! Owning that, I want to help people own their stories and spaces, such as preservation through archives, promotion through resumes, and presentation through marketing. I thought this last idea was “maker marketing” for a while, as I too am a mixed-media artist and marketer. But the more I learn about restorative practices to heal and foster individual freedom, I love “reclaim” with some sort of S synergy, so details to come!
Believe it or not Reclaim was a word that Kaylie used with me in some consulting on an issue I had about 4 months ago. I had reached out to Kaylie about how a lifelong battle with OCD had lead to a minor hoarding issue. I felt that I had not been making progress on decluttering my life, and had wondered if her research had lead to any advice. Instead of judging she sent a very professional document about Reclaiming my space. She stressed the importance of how I feel when I interact with an item, and if that item is a work in progress. Going through items I had found many items that were no longer part of who I am now, nor do I care to look back on. This has helped me to recycle, or donate to people who could use the items in a more appropriate way than I could. It has been a longer process than I thought, there are a lot of emotions involved in many of these items, but if they don’t represent my progress, I have decided to get rid of them. I still have a long way to go, but I am glad that she has decided to bring the word Reclaim to her readers. It is important that we all know what is important in our lives and that our spaces should represent that.