What exactly is in a name? According to dear ol’ Bill Shakes, not much. Respectfully, I disagree.
Naming is an action. It reminds me of a theory in psychology: When someone who is experiencing a host of symptoms finally receives a diagnosis, they have a sense of relief. That’s because they’re not alone; these conditions mean something (and hopefully mean another thing, treatment). With this understanding comes release and helps with letting go. I believe naming what’s on that heart is not unlike catharsis.
Words have huge influence to create realities, so I choose to use them kindly and carefully.
Naming helps actualize. Have I expressed what I really need and want out of life? What do I actually need? And fortunately, in the spirit of gratitude, I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and have so many incredible relationships, experiences, and faith. When I allow myself to ask what I need, exploring an intentional vision for the future co-exists with presence. I am open-hearted (and delighted!) by many possible outcomes of life after grad school, such as digital librarianship and/or working with seniors, and I am grateful for the choices and experiences that led me here. Furthermore, I believe naming what I truly want naturally reduces and releases other experiences, and so this helps me spend energy wisely.
Naming not only explains what is, it also explores what or who something means. It’s an affirmation. For example, growing up, I was told my name means beloved. (Google suggests Kaylie also means graceful, slender, and pure… there are no coincidences.) My mother considered Carl(e)y instead of Kaylie, but her best friend had a little Carley of her own, less than 2 weeks before I was born. Mom also considered Samantha, and that’s one of my best friends and roommates. In different parts of my life, Carley and Sam felt (and feel) like home.
Kaylie, though, is my name. And I am home to myself, through any time and space. In Vietnamese, one pet name for a partner is home. While Colin has absolutely been home to me, I think it’s just as important to come home to myself and be my own beloved. I am whole, just as I am.
For me, naming is an action, actualization, and affirmation, to be(come) open-hearted. Over to you: How do you make space for what you really need and want? Start by naming!