How do I define success? In the last few weeks, a handful of friends have moved into HOUSES, gotten engaged, and given birth to children. I am super happy for them, but I know those activities are not for me. “Good for them, not for me.”
Part of being an independent person is that I define what success is. By not relying on anyone, it’s up to me to do the work and take pride in it.
External expectations can cause some to think they’re not stacking up. Social media can play a cruel trick, too, highlighting these big events like a proposal because of increased user engagement. It’s more fun to show off a picket fence than a yoga mat. Except that’s where I’m at, physically and mentally.
And that’s okay! I actually do have a yoga mat in the middle of my floor. It is a very literal and symbolic thing: it means that I’m giving more focus on exercise by literally giving space for it, front and center. In fact, right now, success looks like optimization. I set my mornings up for success by starting my bedtime routine earlier. I don’t use screens after a certain time (ideally 10pm). I get my workout clothes, shoes, keys, and headphones ready. I actually sleep for 7+ hours now, after years of 6ish hours every weekday and who-knows-how-many every Friday and Saturday. That’s better than 3 hours in college, and that feels like progress. And that’s another definition of success, too: progress.
What direction am I headed in? Am I playing an active role in my life? These kind of questions set my intent, and because of my freedom, I can see progress in many areas of my life.
Success doesn’t necessarily mean getting XYZ done every day, but it does mean progressing toward bigger goals.
- I am trying to write every day, to make this book a reality.
- I am setting a time to stop using tech, so I can hopefully read through my bookshelf every night (and sleep better, too).
- I am stacking workouts with meditation, so I can move, then be mindful.
I may not achieve all my goals this year, like reading the last few books of my shelf. But I am making concrete habits that are actionable, and that makes me feel productive and happier. I do see that my emotions are tied to my actions. With this realization, some of my actions are slowed down in the hope of appreciating them and living in the moment. As much as possible, I no longer multitask. I still do many activities in a day, but they’re stacked to give individual focus on each activity.
Life is energy, and one way of being successful is giving good energy.
I hope to treasure this time, and use my talents to do good work. I am what I give energy to. So in these last few weeks, I have been spending more time writing, making healthy meals, and exercising.
I also see that my good energy can rub off on other people. It’s awesome to have friends from many different parts of my life on social media (see, there are positives and negatives from using this tool!), but it’s not the same as a 1:1 conversation. I so appreciate the people who have laughed, listened, and reconnected with me these last few weeks, and if you are my friend IRL or just stumbled upon me here, reach out with a comment: how do you define success? How do you give yourself space and time to savor it?