April in Review: How do you maintain a habit?

Have you ever heard the phrase, “If it’s meant to be, it’s up to me”? There’s a lot of work in maintaining good habits, and this phrase is particularly encouraging.

A lot of folks struggle with starting something new, but what happens when you finally overcome that first mental hurdle of starting? You keep it up.

Here’s a few ways how I maintain my habits.

1: for maintaining new habits, start with external systems.

Some habits are harder to maintain, especially when you’re just starting. I recommend asking yourself what drives you. Are you internally or externally motivated? By actually acknowledging your sources of motivation, such as expectations, habit maintenance is much easier.

For example, if you’re motivated by your surroundings, see if there are any environments that are conducive to your growth. Creatives in particular may struggle with this: there’s a misconception that you have to get in “just the right place” to begin. I think finding the right place matters more for maintenance, not the beginning stage of creativity.

My friend and I have met every Tuesday at the coffee shop or library this month, and it’s been excellent for our creative growth and friendship. This habit is maintained in part by the consistency of time and place. It’s a system we’ve sustained, and the ideas that form are stronger because of this expectation of the other.

But maybe you don’t have an accountibilibuddy. Have you considered a social group? It is much easier to get connected to like-minded folks. Facebook Groups, Meetups, and even LinkedIn are great sources of inspiration online.

Don’t be afraid if your habit is very specific.

It may mean a smaller group, but those folks are valuable once you find them. They get it. You do not need to reinvent the wheel.

The same is true for breaking away from a habit. I gave up beer for Lent. I wanted to see how much my city is connected to the beverage. I saw how alcohol affects people, in my friend groups, in my relationship, and at church.

Recognize that when you give up a habit, or when you start a new one, you are not going to be understood by everyone. And that’s okay. There are a few that will, and those people can become a support system. Though just a couple of my friends also gave up something for Lent, we cheered each other on because we understood the common goal, as individuals and people.

By giving up a habit, I found I had space for other habits, too.

I was more alert throughout the day and spending less at the bar. I still prefer a good brew to wine, but I am proud to have stuck to it. The external expectation from my friends, in and outside of church, helped. If I had ordered a beer, and my companion(s) knew about my goal, then they would have respectfully called me out… but I didn’t! Unlike past Lenten seasons, where I gave up more internal-oriented behaviors like attempting to stop swearing, giving up beer was more overt.

2: break habits down into their smallest parts.

This month, I am happy to have learned from a one-on-one interview I gave, where I asked a local editor and nonprofit communicator three core questions about how he builds his creative habit. He reminded me that I have to remember my why and how that can extend to daily actions.

In asking three questions, I kept to my core goal instead of going off tangent, and it also gave me opportunity to listen. If you’re interested in why I give 3-question interviews, read lesson 3 in my March in Review post.

I believe the small details compose the big picture, so in maintaining habits, I schedule small, tangible goals.

I find freedom in scheduling habits and making them into micro-actions. It is fulfilling to cross something off of a list, and habits are no exception.

For example, I maintained my habit of publishing by every Sunday in April! It’s not as simple as busting out the computer. It’s getting myself prepared, allowing the scribbles to live and breath before the finished product. The smallest of actions matter to make this habit happen: waking at the alarm. Having a pen and notepad nearby. Knowing how the Internet works, if I’m at a coffee shop. Systems become habits, and those funnel into fulfilling goals.

By scheduling your habits, you can see when there’s opportunity (time!) for your habit-building. I published my post on the Four Tendencies 2 days early, due in part to my 7am wake-up time and because I knew I had a big Easter Sunday when the blog was due. By writing in the morning, instead of rushing through drafts in the evening, I still fulfilled my habit of publishing weekly.

As a result of my meticulous schedule, I also fulfilled another goal, attending a community event. I went on a women’s hike for the first time, and that could not have happened without my mighty, specific schedule. What an incredible trip, with amazing ladies, dogs, and scenery!

My schedule is important to me because it not only shows my obligations, it helps me reflect on everything I did or did not accomplish within that time. No matter what, volunteering at a local food pantry is on my schedule. If your habit is important to you, you will make time for it.

For some people, maintaining a habit feels like an obligation, to one’s self or to others. If you need an external push to work on a goal, see how others can specifically help you. You don’t want to dump your habits on one person. That’s neither healthy nor sustainable. But see how they can help you, and how you can help them!

3: schedule your habit so it’s just something you do.

Be easy (easier) on yourself. What can you remove from or add to your existing routine to help you maintain your habit?

For example, the gym is closer to where I work than where I live. So, for most of my workouts, I go to the gym right after I finish working. In other words, I maintain my work mentality and sustain this attitude into exercising. I work smarter because it’s easier for me to just keep going, instead of starting again.

There’s an opportunity cost of working out around 6pm: I could eat dinner “at a normal time” and gym later. So could my countless gym-mates who also work out right after their own 9-to-5. But I’d rather hit the busy gym than possibly miss exercising because of other demands or the comforts of home.

As a result of my unconscious pattern of working out right away and my early morning routine detailed here, I nailed a few habits that I no longer consciously think about, like working out 4 times a week and waking up by 7am each weekday to create.

There are so many rewards of just doing the thing. One of the biggest shifts for me has been my confidence.

Working out and creating regularly has become a part of my identity. That is motivating in itself.

It’s also encouraging to see how my seemingly unconscious habits affect other people. Because if I can do it (create, move, explore, etc), so can they. And, dear reader, so can you!

All of these actions are relatively small shifts, but they affect my schedule, attitude, and habits. These steps make me more thoughtful. I am more aware of my motivation, which encourages me to keep learning from others and building a healthy, happy life.

I often ask people what routines they have to maintain their own habits. Some have no idea what their motivation is. How do you prioritize your habits? How can I help you with yours? Let me know in the comments!