Welcome back to Corona Diaries. It’s week 7. Last week, I discussed how I’m becoming more independent during this time. It was quite a week: 2 organizations I support had volunteer opportunities, and we came together online to fundraise and discuss summer steps. I also treated myself to a Babbel subscription to learn a new language. I kept going, exercising and working every weekday.
It’s so easy to go with routine and forget feelings: I wake up an hour before work, make eggs, work, work out, read, and (now) work on Babbel. And those are all great things to do, but I’ve grown enough to see that my admittedly Type A routines help with the physical day. A challenging project at work or new workout influences the mental. But how about the emotional? So here’s what feelings I’m leaning into this week:
I’m choosing gratitude.
There is SO much I cannot control. This rapid pandemic, being physically removed from everyone, all the events and outings that have been cancelled. In fact, my friends and I had planned a trip to Ireland this week.
But I still have a job, WiFi that gives me much including an easy way to write and connect with people over video, a roof over my head with a lovely landlord, my health, and so many lovely humans. And I know it’s privilege speaking that Ireland is not cancelled, it’s delayed. That if I were to get sick, the hospital is nearby. These are resources that not everyone has, and I’m grateful to have worked hard to be able to afford them. But I’m choosing thankfulness to have the ability to save, use healthcare if needed.
I’m really trying to feel like I belong.
Everyone wants to be a part of something, a fellowship of folks. And for a long time, that was the gym, the food pantry, even my favorite gastropub on Friday nights. But now I’m forging connections with people in different ways, from returning to pen pals to creating gym time with my boyfriend and his brother. And I’ve even attending church more regularly.
Before this started, I met with a couple friends once or twice a month. I cannot WAIT to hug my pals again. At the same time, I’m learning I cannot be everything for my friends, and the reverse is also true. I owe them space. This week, I hope to reach out to Facebook friends, for rekindling via reunion or letter. I’m lucky to have such a network. I am not alone.
I’m working on joy.
I’ve written about returning to activities and identities I neglected, and there is so much fun to be had as an introvert who now has time: reading. Experimenting with new content. Learning a language. I feel happy when I am productive. I recognize that this post may seem like I’m doing a lot, even during this “down” time.
Part of the joy of a stacked routine is crossing off each activity, item by item. But the other part? Penciling in FUN. So one of my goals for the week (month, year) is to track what has been done, such as miles walked and funds spent every day. I’m going to attempt to track every day, but I know I have a habit of making weekly routines. So by putting this note out there, feel free to comment to encourage accountability!
Humans are thinking, feeling beings. Feelings influence how we do things. And as an INFJ, feelings direct my compassion and lead me to helping others. This week, I hope to help myself by leaning into feeling joy, belonging, and gratitude. What are you working on this week? I encourage you to lean into feelings!