Write do and don’t do lists

I’m back bloggin’ after a week away! There was something I had to do, and I gave much energy to it. Instead of distracting myself with other self-given responsibilities, I focused and got it done. And that idea of CHOOSING ENERGY is what I am writing about today.

We’ve all written to do lists. They’re organized, require some mental energy, and are often influenced by situations and people outside ourselves. Plus, there’s something so satisfying about crossing off items on lists. But what about to don’t do lists?

“Do or do not,” any intergalactic-space-movie-loving nerd can start (and finish the rest of this famous phrase). Reframed another way, it’s actually the subject of the book I’m writing.

In order to commit to X, we must often omit Y: opportunity cost.

“You can have it all,” claim perfume commercials, moms, presidents, and my favorite fictional role model, Leslie Knope. But is that really true? How can we really claim success if we keep trudging (or running) to the next thing, the next thing. By not sitting still, we can’t focus completely on what we’ve done and fail to put our whole selves in. Personally, I forget and fail at that mystical carpe diem thing.

So what to do instead? CHOOSE what to care about. Who to show up for.

What matters is the present. It’s not complicated, but anxieties over the past (nostalgia can be cruel!) and the future (fear of the unknown, anyone?) make presence in the present an impossible task. So I’m trying something new: The do and do not do list!

Make parallels between the do and don’t do categories.

My BIG goal for the year is writing a book, and that’s getting done through Kaylie Day. So it’s natural that one is first. It may seem strange that something small like the dishes is its parallel, but it’s true: when faced with time BY myself, I do stuff that’s productive but not FOR myself, not really. The dishes can sit (or as my gal pal Marissa says, be optimized pre-Kaylie Day). As I’ve written before, time and space are two huge resources, so I like environmental cleansing.

Use the don’t do list for BIG goals and SMALL responsibilities, but keep updating the list.

The point of the to DON’T list is that it gives some challenges, too. As a helper type, I love giving energy to causes I care about, but I can get drained and unintentionally spend more time on others than myself. In my don’t do list, I am asking for help with a big pantry task. I don’t need to do it all, but a good self-compromise is still participating in the meeting to get ‘er done. I don’t have too many tasks that are big picture on purpose so I can focus on what matters.

By updating this pair of lists regularly, I react and track in the moment. Even though I had minimal cheese on Easter Sunday after giving it up for Lent, the rest of the week was a different, pizza-filled story. My digestion, acne, and stress were high. So I’m going to try to focus on whole foods (do!) and minimal dairy (don’t!), even another larger challenge (don’t carryout!).

Write typical tasks you normally do but optimize them with don’t do items.

I absolutely value staying fit. I exercise at least 5 times/week. But on weekdays, I struggle with timeliness of my routines. So, I am going to attempt to optimize the evening so I can try: 1. Reading instead of screen-ing in the evening. 2. Running or walking in the morning. And 3. Habit stacking abs after cardio/weights.

But don’t be sneaky and put items that are already done on the don’t do list. That’s not the point. The point is progress, tracking and stacking the goals and habits you actually want to achieve.

Over to you: what and who can you focus on this week? What will you say, “no” to? What are you going to try differently in the next few days? Until next time!