Today’s my 32nd birthday. And right here, right now, is…
My partner using a makeshift-Photoshop-alike to superimpose pics together in silly celebration of the day. Or just be, erm, crafty in these software skills.
32 also looks like lingering over coffee, life-talking on spirituality and how to possibly reframe work as part of play.
The caffeine is still on my tongue, as I work wherever today.
And this new rotation looks like class at 4. Followed by dinner, at 7, at the plants-based haven Somebody People.
It’s all about taking time. Making it, sometimes. Quality over quantity, they say. But I have learned to also value quantity time. Because life is full.
FOMO still affects me, somehow. I don’t want to miss a moment, and so I have been documenting experiments all year. What have I given the most time? Where have I given energy? Reduced?
I’ll be answering these in the last two months of this experiment campaign, but these questions have informed the last 30 days. I asked, what do I need?
Life needed to change, and a birthday happens regardless of my thoughts or feelings. It’s just time passing, after all.
So, what can I change?
I am somehow spending more time at work, whatever definition I give it. So, how do I create boundaries and value my time, when more is more is more?
Saying no. No surprise there. Buuuttt…
Taking the time to find the right yes requires more time. It’s my impulse to say yes. I’ve written on this before. https://kaylielongley.com/systems-review-saying-no-through-three-questions/ is a recent one. But I have new strategies for no. And now know I am not alone.
The art of the yes-but-no is: Yielding. Instead of just stopping something completely, what’s fondly called “door-slamming” in the INFJ community, I am looking to yield. And hopefully give that power/position/potential thing to someone else.
Rewards for yes are all the above. But I want to offer others these gifts, so they hopefully choose or use their time.
I am in the position to “yes-but-no” with my time. That positioning is coming from a place of privilege that I’m not used to, for sure. But it’s also incredibly empowering.
What can I stop doing? How about things given to me, under the assumption I’d just take them? When people-pleasing knocks its seemingly friendly door, maybe I can phone an actual friend.
Asking for support is still a struggle, but I learn so much through spending time even just making the ask. And hopefully spending my time elsewhere. With friends, my God, myself, and my partner.
Because that’s what I need (see, full circle!).
So, over the next 30 days, I will find the yes-but-no and the people who are in a no-but-yes. And really start owning my time.