Goals Progress Report: February 2023

February flew by! While vulnerability was a theme for January, I tried to pay attention to the results of exposing and expressing my feelings. It was scary, but I feel fulfilled, as I’ve found space is key for me to actually feel the feelings. This virtual space is one way to share those feelings. Here are some takeaways from February 2023, presented just like last month’s format. Acknowledging I’m a work in progress, here are the annual goals I’ve committed to, omitted, and workshopped this month.

In February, I committed regular time to the following 2023 goals:

• Take myself on weekly dates
• Run Exercise for fun once/week
• Support a nonprofit org once/month

Comparing my goals progress report from January, I’m one goal short, month over month. But looking back is grounds for shame and anxiety; instead, I’m trying to be present in who I am and what I have accomplished. Worthiness starts with loving myself first, regardless of work. I am enough. (Anyone else working on self-talk?)

And so, what have I been up to this month? Weekly dates, not necessarily inspired by G/P/Valentine’s Day, are a cardinal goal. Why do I care about this one so much? Because I don’t want to lose sight of the newness, nature, and potential all around me. Colorado is beautiful! But I’m separating this goal from running for fun because working out ≠ doing something just for me. And so, this month’s self-dates included finding new stops and shops. Vegan delights included citrusy chickpea burgers and spicy edamame tacos. Other faves were wandering bookstores, urban spelunking in the sunshine, and thrifting. I can’t wait to keep discovering new places in March.

So too am I finding new spaces for exercise beyond trails near and far. Runs serve many purposes. Weekday running clears my head/heart when I feel heavy or overstimulated. Saturday and Sunday runs awaken my sense of purpose. Meanwhile, exercising with others has brought joy! My friend Stef and I took a rumba class for her birthday, and we danced “salsa con” strangers. Dancing, especially with strangers in a specific environment like a dance hall, forges courage and flow. Dancing is happiness, fleeting but free. Movement, ultimately, helps me feel alive. I aim to keep finding new ways to feel and move, in the hope of making my brain and body in sync. Any kayakers, climbers, and dancers out there?

By showing up for my people, such as for Stef on her birthday, I am on my way to deeper friendships. Giving and receiving support is a natural extension of that. That’s one reason why one of my goals for the year is to sustainably support an org every month. In February, I was successful in helping my alma mater with a newsletter and PawsCo with leadership meetings and social media strategy.

And yet I am still learning how to ask for help. Belonging to PawsCo and Ripon’s volunteer teams helps bring a sense of purpose, but I hope to keep finding and maintaining relationships. Moving across the country and only knowing a couple of people was (and still is) scary. As I was typing this post, it’s no coincidence that my roomie Sam asked if I was available to watch something funny. I’m so glad I chose catching up with her over writing these words. Internal responsibilities, especially self-driven expectations, can wait if that means connection. Especially since my roomie and I haven’t seen each other in weeks. Grateful for her acute sense of knowing me, not judging, and just being there. That’s deep friendship.

I omitted practicing the following 2023 goals:

• Visit France
• Finish bookcase by reading before bed nightly
• Develop daily rotating ab/arm routines

Goals change, and that’s a big lesson of 2023. Instead of going to France over spring break as my friend and I initially planned, I’m going to watch a lab. I won’t be watching the doggo the entire break, and it’ll be the third time my senior fur-friend and I hang out. It’s the perfect balance of time to myself and space with a loving dog. Animals are some of my favorite people, and I’d love to honor that joy.

Similarly, honoring the space of dog watching, I want to celebrate my personal space. It’s currently full of books. Next week’s book swap at work will hopefully bring some novelty and will remove some items from my collection. I have high hopes to read through my to-be-read list this year, but lately I’ve poured through 5-10 books every month from the library for Omit to Commit research. Irony is not lost on me, and this particular library has become one of my favorite places. But it also means that I’ve neglected my own shelf. I know the reason for some of the not-yet-read books: I’m scared they’ll be too good. Sounds contradictory? Perhaps. But what if my expectations are correct? Thus, I escape into the intellectual comfort of Omit to Commit. I do want to re-read A Series of Unfortunate Events this year as I finally own all of them, and will be getting a VFD tattoo in honor of my fellow bookworm and volunteer firefighter grandfather. But I’ve only read the first of ASOUE so far, as younger Kaylie fiercely loved Dr. Montgomery Montgomery in the second of the series, The Reptile Room. And so by not re-reading yet, I’m protecting older, present-day Kaylie. What if it doesn’t come up to stuff? Certainly, there are still other books I haven’t completed yet from my bookshelf, but research calls. I am what I make time for, so perhaps I need better boundaries around when to turn off the phone/laptop and when to start reading before bed. And maybe it’s the cult of productivity too, and I just need to work on enjoying leisure time. Work on play? Work on rest? Busy, busy.

Which leads to: abs/arms routines. As I shared in January’s progress report, I don’t want to be dependent on runs in order to keep working out. But that was often the case this month. On top of it, I was no longer participating in #DryJanuary for most of February. While I only had 0 or 1 beer/week this month, I still felt ‘wheyed’ down by other not-so-nutritional indulgences, such as dairy and chicken wings. While my attention is still sharp while cultivating a healthy balance of 0 or minimal beverages/outing, I still need to work on my self-care, including physique and self-talk. I just don’t feel my complete self right now. Being vulnerable by expressing this exposes the truth, but I feel honest and free in sharing. (It is my virtual space, after all.)

I workshopped the following 2023 goals this month:

• Design tiny house
• Make art for its own sake once/week
• Research grad schools for my book, Omit to Commit
• Continue swapping to vegan, sustainable, and local wares

Dreams are essential to keep aiming high, but goals can change. I still believe a good system of habits is the way to achieving a fulfilling life, and I absolutely dream big, with ideas for the next 5, 10, and even 30 years of life. And so I’ve been thinking of my goal of tiny home ownership. Eventually, I still want this anti-conformist, minimalist, no mortgage space. But right now, my goal is just having space.

This month, I spent a week with 2 pups, and that space just for the doggos and me brought more dancing, clarity, and learning. The pups were ever-watchful, occasionally pausing to touch ‘paws’ as we twirled along the hardwood. And I love my fam, but having fur-roommates was a great change of pace. The dogs talked in their own ways, too. So maybe I’ll update the goal to either get a dog of my own by the end of the year or set a habit of watching a dog once/month. By regularly putting funds specifically from dog watching gigs into the tiny house/dog goal, I have clarity, as well as cuddles, quality time, and space. When I watched the dogs, I started writing 2 blog posts, edited 1 podcast(!) episode, and read 2.5 books. Amazing!

I am making space for art, whether I’m at home, at my full-time marketing job, or with dogs. The crapbook is still a fun, functional use of many papers, and I now own sturdy backing, perfect for collaging and framing stickers. But I also want to dance more often, take photos, film, and slam poems again. Happily, I published much of my art and marketing endeavors in an updated, interactive portfolio on February 10th, even sharing to a couple of my social networks. I can’t forget that I did that. It’ll take even more courage to post the portfolio on more professional spheres, but I have given some of my business cards to various creatives and found virtual safe spaces to share my work.

Recognizing that I’m skillful at connections, I don’t necessarily need to transform talents into tangibles. In the same way, I’m not publishing all of my goals online. Because people are not products, myself included. People are people, with a whole mix of feelings, thoughts, and experiences. For example, I love a good, deep conversation. Especially with fellow female creatives. And so I am considering updating last year’s blog and social posts of Womxn in Progress into a podcast. It is an answer, allowing a deepening of friendships and skills while maintaining a creative campaign. But it’s only one of many ideas. Would you like to hear some creative womxn discuss their creatives lives? Would you like to be spotlighted? These conversations keep me (and campaigns like Womxn in Progress) going, feeling fulfilled and engaged by connections!

Perhaps I can still keep making connections other ways, such as Omit to Commit research. You see I’ve striked “grad school” from my goal and just focused on the research. I still need help with YOU, on how you make and break habits. Each O2C post is about different social groups, and I share research here on the 20th of the month. February’s was all about minimalists and maximalists, and January’s was all about spiritual and physical nutritionists, bodybuilders, and believers. Would it be helpful to know which organizations I’m focused on? For example, I checked out a ton of books on innovation and how work is changing in the modern world, and thus entrepreneurs are the key social group for March’s post. I especially don’t want to be talking writing in the abyss for this project and am grateful for all the blog comments and social chatter. I’ve even created a specific Instagram for this research. Sometimes writing about my work has shown how far/how much I’ve done. Writing makes me feel and think, after all. Words are a conduit to being human.

Finally, it makes sense that my last goal is a work in progress, even by how it’s framed: I am continuing to go vegan, support local, and work sustainably. As part of a tiny, mighty team of 3, my colleagues and I designed a staff swap day, full of clothes, jewelry, and housewares for teammates to swap their gently-used and loved items, and it was a success! Personally, I netted a coffee maker and coat. Other swaps in my personal life include choosing vegan restaurants but then also having smoked chicken wings at my friends’ house for the big game. Balance is key, and so I have to check in with my values, which I also penned this month. Am I being contradictory, or am I learning? Takeaway: As long as I’m trying, I have to recognize that is enough.

“Inner compass” is my word for the year, and I’m striving to BE my most authentic self, offline and on. Navigating new goals and a deeper understanding of myself is courageous and vulnerable, often at the same time. My worth is regardless of work or any of these projects listed here. Workaholism is not the solution, and being driven by progress matters so much more than products or perfectionism. Just being there, for myself and others, means showing up and taking this fulfilling, awesome life in. Phew. February, you suggested bravery and gave me freedom on the other side! How was your month? How are you showing up for yourself? Your comments are brave and so appreciated. Thank you for being here!