Heaven: I’m sipping peach tea, one of my favorite yellow labs (the same fellow from Thanksgiving) is beside me, and the sun’s pouring over us. This space is exactly what I needed, not just for reflection of the last month but to sit and be still for at least part of Spring Break. March consumed much of my energy, and this last week has been reflective: I’ve been thinking a lot about legacy, due in part to Grandma’s birthday earlier this month, as well as March’s month-long celebration of womxn.
With so much alone time, my meditations have led to a serious question: How do I want to be remembered? I am more than my work and contributions, but I’ve pondered, how can I do the best (or most) good with the resources I have? Independence is a habit, as an introvert with a bunch of solo side-hustles, but disciplining myself to savor this space alone is something I’m still working on. Finding freedom in just being me, regardless of work, translates to trying to not worry about being “cool” or “enough.” And so the questions I’ve started asking myself are a little different than what, who, where am I committing and omitting to. I’m also asking, how can I best use my time and talents? Where is my energy best served? There’s much self-work to be done, and so let’s start this month’s goals progress report with:
I’ve omitted the following goals in March 2023:
- Visit France
- Develop daily ab/arm routines
- Make art for its own sake once/week
While I intended to visit France over Spring Break, instead I spent the first half of this week going to mountain towns, full of friendly folks with suggestions of what to do post-climb/hike. The mountains were beautiful, from snowy to sunny, and I don’t miss the absence of France. Instead, I’ve savored vegan burritos and pizza, tried adult kombucha and beer from tiny breweries, and galavanted through galleries displaying a variety of mediums, such as ice, clay, and even book pages. And the second half of my Spring Break is the aforementioned doggo time, a quiet (ish) companion while I reflect and read.
While I’ve enjoyed short walks with the lab, climbing and hiking mountains, and a handful of double-digit runs this month, my ab/arm routines have been less than satisfying. I don’t know if it’s that my vegan swaps have made me slightly more lethargic or March’s mostly-dreary weather led to shorter workouts, but my energy is returning again after a bit of a slump. Plus, I want to look and feel great for Mar and Ar’s summer wedding. Thankful for this external motivation! If anyone has tips on how to make arms and abs more fun, please send ’em my way.
Last, I’ve found many spaces to enjoy others’ art, such as an entire TOWN dedicated to public art (looking at you, Lafayette). Yet I have yet to make any art of my own, just because. While it wasn’t “just because”, one awesome art was learning to brew my own beer with a couple of friends (pictured). The Fest Bier has fermented for a couple weeks, and so we’ll be trying it this weekend! It was a joy to make something with others, especially as I’ve wanted to learn how for so long. In addition, for more making, I created a temporary collage for Womxn’s History Month. It brings me joy to see so many female faces in one specific space (pictured, as well). But I realized I associate art with “doneness” and “presentation”, and so my goal of making art for its own sake is requiring some unlearning. The crapbook is a great example of this: I still make weekly entries but find myself saving stickers, receipts, and other papers just for it. Does that make it art for its own sake, or not? Even if the journal’s just for me? Maybe I should simply see this as progress. Thank goodness it’s one of many annual goals.
I’ve committed to the following annual goals this month:
- Take myself on weekly dates
- Exercise for fun once/week
- Continue swapping to vegan, local wares
- Support a nonprofit org once/month
- Research grad schools
I’ve had much time to be my own friend this month, and that space has led me to be an honest, open person for others. By listening to what I need, I have more compassion when companions share what’s on their mind/heart. One key lesson from March is that I cannot control what others share with me, and when. Words are my love language, so communicating leads to deeper connections, belonging. Some folks have shared some deep moments with me, ranging from disappointments to diagnoses, and I’m grateful they trusted me in this knowledge. And yet, a few people did not share information. In those cases, I found myself returning to time alone, to process, and I’m trying to see that this lack is not about me.
What has helped is doing fun things by myself, regardless of having a companion. For example, exercise for half of March has been joyful, and going to the mountains reminded me why I moved to Colorado in the first place. One self-date was throughout Girl Scout Day, where I walked along a river, stopped for coffee (and a carrot dish!), and of course got cookies. Did you know Thin Mints are now vegan? I’ll continue cultivating regular time (Sundays?) for self-dates across waters, forests, and mountains. I don’t do these moments for the ‘gram, they’re just for me. Mount Salitas in Boulder is one of the squares of this blog post, though.
And same with swapping to vegan choices, too. Becoming plants-based is just that: becoming, and so I’m shifting to about 90% vegan (following my 90% principle). I’m recognizing that this choice is not only healthier long-term, it brings compassion to fellow beings. Animals do not have consent, and so my mindset reminds me veganism is all about choice. Using animals for food takes away that choice. Therefore, it is a feminist endeavor, aligned with many of my values and identities. I will not be silent on this and am working hard to make swaps beyond food, such as shoes!
This commitment to animal welfare has led to more work with PawsCo, including visiting a cute cat cafe for the leadership meeting (pictured), already planning our gala for the fall, and of course marketing so many comings and goings. One awesome example of this was an awesome “get unlucky” St. Patty’s campaign, helping animals get spayed and neutered. Curiously, life has a way of giving and taking away. For the first time in two years, there won’t be Girls on the Run at the school I work for. While it is a little disappointing, I am hopeful it’ll return. I’ll keep running, of course. But I am deciding if I should give more energy to PawsCo (and Levitt’s summer concert series) or find another org. It’s okay to have less commitments and instead more focus on other projects.
I am still focused on research, including potentially grad school and of course Omit to Commit. Research has been a stable practice of 2023. It’s been incredibly gratifying as I’m doing work aligned with my vision of an inclusive, creative future while also concurrently honoring past Kaylie. This research has led to conversations, such as tomorrow’s talk with a museum curator. I’m considering a master’s in Information Sciences and this research-focused degree may help me get to a library, museum, and book. While reading and writing is sometimes isolating, I know it’s a task I can do, am skilled at, and have support(ers). Ultimately, this book will be bigger than me, and I’m considering a podcast or app, too. Get on board the research train and see my last Omit to Commit post, this one on business work, here.
I’m still working on the following goals:
- Design tiny home
- Finish bookcase with nightly reading
While March has provided much space for a variety of projects, designing the tiny home was less of a commitment. Instead, I’m considering this “future planning.” A former co-camp counselor now lives in CO too, in a tiny home of her own, but we haven’t been able to catch up yet. We will, perhaps this summer. But I have met with one person who works in realty here, so we shall see where (and how) I land. I’m enjoying the spaces I’m currently in while also recognizing independence is my goal.
And of course, space just for me focuses on ample reading and writing time. What a gift! While I told myself I wasn’t going to buy books this year to focus on my own shelf, I did buy a few this month. They were almost all by female authors, all from local bookstores and thrift stores. As one of my books was lost to a swamp, I’m taking this as a sign to carry less (just a backpack and water bottle), and focus on exercise then reading, not both. The library’s still one of my go-to places, and it’s led to ample research plus finding this month’s pick for my book club, The Last White Man, as well as finding a new-to-me selection by Lemony Snicket, The Unauthorized Autobiography. Reading’s been a pleasure, as I continue learning, escaping, laughing, and crying.
And so that’s just a splattering of some to-dos and to-don’ts of March. I’m grateful to have found friendship in myself, as well as working for a school that recognizes that actually taking a break is important for both children and adults. This time of reflection helps me recognize how much I value creativity, companionship, and Colorado sunshine. Who knows what April will (and won’t) bring? How was your month? What, who, and where was your attention? What is your intention in April? See you in the comments!