Omit to Commit is all about the resources needed to opt into (and out of) behaviors, such as time, traditions (individual or group behaviors), trust, and treasures. By regularly making and breaking habits, life becomes more fulfilling and satisfying. I’m drafting a book called Omit to Commit, and in 2024, I’m posting research/your ideas/themes on the 20th of every month.
Today was my first day at the Dance Archive. Despite being tucked in the archives since 9am, I type away on the library’s main floor. Rain thunders in the distance. Today also marks a year since my successful entrance into grad school: My mom, then-bf D, and I were sharing salads and sandwiches at Corner Beet, and upon receiving the news via email, I jumped up and down, nearly knocking the chairs over. The jump turned to dance. What can I say? Dance makes me happy.
Since September, I’ve taken three quarters of grad school, or 10 classes. As of last week, I’m transitioning away from marketing, fully jumping into archiving and library sciences. And I am still here, writing, embracing change, and expressing myself through these very words.
Making such a leap has required faith, to financially afford grad school and Colorado’s ever-increasing Cost of Living, intellectually position myself, spiritually pay attention, and intellectually let a lot go. Including resigning from the place that started my Colorado chapter three(!) years ago.
Over the last year, one hat was just that, marketing the Montessori school. Another, grad school. Still more headgear in this seemingly infinite wardrobe was dog-sitting, art archiving, befriending and dating folks (finding my partner, C!), and volunteering.
Navigating new positions, people, and places was exciting, and I am grateful to have pulled through (I’m still waiting on one grade to be published, but it looks like I have maintained a 4.0 throughout the year!). But such shifts in the everyday were not entirely grounding. Many friends saw the multiple vessels, daily dry salads, and the blue headphones.
Each day required discernment via erasable pen and color-coded spreadsheet. I traded the security of one full-time position with benefits for various part-time gigs (some weeks far exceeding 50 hours) to also afford full-time grad school student status. Such hustle and heart landed my first role in Library Land, at an academic library downtown. Currently, I strategize collections, such as weeding and adding books to our materials in gender studies.
As I shared on my penultimate day of the Montessori school last week, the biggest win of 2023-2024? I remained myself through it all.
Perhaps that’s a selfish share. Acknowledging I can’t do it alone, here’s some people who stood by me through theses changes:
- M trusted me with my first archival role. She saw my researching brain and ran. She also allowed me to explore independent projects, like designing a data viz.
- Upon hearing my newfound passion for preservation, my professor S recommended me for archival consultancy. This role has brought much joy and newfound appreciation for structure. It may also lead to my LLC on capturing independent stories.
- At church, E, J, S, and M all trust me in various service-based positions, such as developing more resources for home-insecure friends and digitizing the library.
- K, A, S, and L were sounding boards at the Montessori school. J trusted (and trusts) me. Ever jumping-jacking, I will miss their shouts of first confusion then acceptance, oh, it’s just Kaylie, getting her steps in, with jumping jacks.
- First a friend and now my bf, C and I have a foundation of trust, open communication, and mutual understanding, including my need for dancing every day. I did not expect to find a partner while going to school, but love happens and continues to blossom between us. <3
Finding folks who care and being a people-pleaser carer myself is essential to my ethos. But I can’t possibly care or carry it all, right? So in letting go of certain places, I have to let go of people, too. Finding the balance of caring while embracing change means I am evolving as a human. (After all, Omit to Commit is all about making small changes to define goals.)
I am learning how to let go of hyperviligilance about every. single. micro-action.
For example? I really have to omit over-editing this website. A multi-passionate person, I used to ask, Who is my audience? Such an eternal, seemingly infinite question led to existential dread. It’s a common conundrum for every other marketer. Yet, for the first time of my professional career, I am not in marketing. Sure, I still write blog posts here. And it’s helped my library role, among others. But it’s no longer me.
And that means I am placing less focus on this website. Nor do I want to (over)share on social media, anymore. With such an omission means I can’t expect comments or engagement, either. Previous me would consider optimizing posts, but now I prefer spending my energy elsewhere.
Who cares if this post is read just by me? I’m still writing. Or if Google doesn’t index this blog? Whatever. I’m still here.
I don’t write these posts every 10 days because I’m expecting something from someone. Instead, I’m here to practice, to remember, and to cherish this time of my life.
And life lately is Soul-filling. Dynamic. Collaborative. Grounding. Curiosity-driven. I’m learning:
- How to make music, like EDM and guitar
- That archival and collection work is satisfying, due in part to each day’s simultaneous novelty and sum of parts
- My “why” is preservation of story… not necessarily promotion
- Where to position myself, such as changes to KaylieLongley.com
- How to be gentle with myself, recognizing that I still have power, even after resigning from roles
- That very few people influence my decision-making, and so my deep circle is a handful of close friends and my partner
Removing the regard of (potential) readership, I am instead focusing on who, what, and where I am. Right here, right now. This keeps me grateful and grounded. And so, I write. And dance every day. And learn. And embrace all these changes.
A great phrase that Kaylie used in this article was about how she was no longer in marketing, ” It’s no longer me.” This was similar to something she said during some career consulting, about how, ” we are not our jobs, but sometimes we turn into them.” It is good that Kaylie has been able to separate herself from that while still being deeply passionate and skilled in the work that she does. I think it is important that we learn how to separate ourselves so we don’t feel like our entire identities are our employment, and that we can focus our energy on aspects that better reflect who we are.
Wow, Jonathan! Thank you for being so open and honest in your comment. I agree, we are more than the work we do. Our energy is such a valuable resource, so honing in on what and who and where you position yourself is essential! Jobs are necessary but they are not our entire identities. It’s hard to separate work from life when productivity culture values “doing” versus “being” yourself. I really like what you said about making space to reflect on identity and talk about that in my latest post: https://kaylielongley.com/systems-review-saying-no-through-three-questions/.