Practicing grace and gratitude during Corona

This week, I continue to turn to the words grace and gratitude. When faced with situations outside of your control (say, a worldwide pandemic), anger may seem easier, which can come out as bitterness, abrasiveness. These are completely valid responses to a very real, dangerous situation. But throughout this time, I have tried to keep my head up. Explore my Corona Diaries here where I’ve written about learning practical skills and more about myself. And one of those personality traits? My optimism that comes from practicing gratitude. But that’s the key: practice.

Being graceful and gracious takes practice and observation.

My workout instructor (Anna of Youtube’s PopSugar Fitness) says that strength takes grace. As I have been working out more, my body contorts in new ways, flexing longer, squatting deeper. My brain has learned to be quiet and trust itself. I have learned when to stop moving and instead actively rest. And that’s a lot like grace: letting go of what is not in my control. But seeing what I can do, and doing the best I can in that spot.

I see gratitude a lot in my life, too. My pastor says grace is a gift: by his definition, grace is not something we work on, but something just given. And that’s tough to understand, especially during Corona, because I want to keep my schedule, and I know I can’t. So instead I turn to gratitude, where I see the value of the little things now more than ever: my boyfriend says he’s “grateful” to our friends who attended his virtual birthday party. We couldn’t have an epic event. But he appreciated the small act of kindness.

Gratitude comes from receiving.

I have been trying to use this word more, too. Sometimes, the gift is obvious: my boyfriend offers coffee, without asking. It’s unexpected, generous. And almost always accepted (even if it’s 10pm, you better believe I’ll take some coffee!). But sometimes, the gift isn’t overt. I am grateful for my boss, who has given me the gift of agency. There are projects that need to be worked on, and she trusts they’ll be accomplished. Sometimes, I’ll work at 8pm. Mostly, I stick to 9-5. But it’s up to me how I use this time.

Time is one of the best gifts, and I’ve tried to receive it well. I am writing every week, working out almost every day, and cooking more. This self-isolation has shown me that I value movement. A part of me likes the feeling of busyness, that I can stuff so much into a day. I know productivity and moving projects along matter more than busyness for its own sake. But I like the feeling of a stacked schedule. That’s what feels productive to me. So now that I can’t visit friends or my favorite places, I am learning to be okay with a smaller checklist for each day to instead give more time to talents or passions, like reading, writing, and exercising. And since the checklist is mine, it’s the only schedule I can only control.

Accomplishments only matter so much. Attitude is what counts.

I took a positive psychology course in college, and I never really understood why its founder, Seligman, tacked achievements at the end. But now I’m starting to get it: what you achieve, the output, means nothing if your input is weak. And input can mean attitude: why you do what you do. I’ve worked hard for my home, my sanctuary. I’ve worked hard to land this job. But I still need to appreciate what got me here. And how I’m still here.

If I have no joy, gratefulness, or grace in what I do, then I lose sight of who I am. I am almost always an optimistic individual. And I have to remind myself of that. Whether it’s doing activities I love again or video chatting more people, surrounding myself with sunshine reminds me that I am that sunshine for others. But I need to be my own light, too. So even though I can’t be positive all of the time, I am intentionally choosing joy. Laughter. Focusing on the good things, in my control, during this time. And that keeps me going.

How about you? How has Corona affected your attitude? How can I help? Let me know in the comments!