It’s Wednesday, March 30th, so this is the first of 2 posts today. Read on for how I’m applying grace to rest, remembering, receiving, and responding. (I’ll also be sharing my last anticipated Womxn in Progress, highlighting my cousin Mikayla, so fill out the form here if you’d like to be featured in the future). Most of my grace applications have focused on what I do, such as giving grace to routines and rituals. But what about… receiving grace?
Receiving grace means listening, responding, or sometimes… doing nothing.
What does “receiving grace” mean? And who is the source(s) of grace? Are there examples of doing nothing to receive grace? And getting to the heart of it… Why do I struggle so much with this? Receiving grace could be about the giver(s): perhaps they are responding to what I do or who I am, like reciprocal karma or respecting their fellow human. Maybe being a recipient of grace is not about me at all. One example? The Bible says God is the ultimate author of grace, such as Jesus giving eternal life to mere mortals.
Many humans have given me grace. Over the last few days, I’ve learned “receiving grace” means accepting gifts of time, new perspectives, collaborations, and opportunities. Gift-giving is about both the giver and the receiver, so what can I take and not feel bad about? Like most things, I need to check myself first and show some self-compassion.
I received grace when I gave myself time to see and feel beauty after many late nights working. One day I gave myself over an hour to walk in the waning sunshine (the main pic of this post). I took minimal pictures and mediated, trying to keep my spirit present and not think of work. I focused on savoring, as the wind slapped against my face. After hours of artificial light, the sun poured all over me, and I cried. As my boyfriend says, I “glow” after being in the sun. It’s not just the Vitamin D. Sunlight helps me feel connected to the universe, reminding me I am indeed going to be okay. The sun rises, sets. I too must rest, once in a while.
I don’t have to do everything alone, and that’s another way of receiving grace: getting from others, such as reclaiming time. I’ve been working on yes/no and space/time boundaries. When Jen asked if I’d rather work on the yearbook or attend a webinar she was also attending, I used the time for the book. I felt so seen, and have since realized that Jen’s thoughtfulness was a gift of grace. Time is one of the best gifts to receive, whether it’s quietly working, doing something planned, or enjoying spontaneity.
Time is the best gift, so I am giving grace to rest.
Looking back, I wasn’t resting most of March. The yearbook deadline led to many late nights. The girls’ running club started again this month. I helped my boyfriend move to a new place closer to me, and I have a new roommate, too. I’m enjoying Spring Break but am also using the time for a fun dog-sitting gig. I’m helping plan a fundraising day for my alma mater. And I also gave myself a weekly assignment of Womxn in Progress posts all March, which were great ways to reconnect but were indeed time-consuming. It’s been an awesome month of trying new things, but it’s been a lot.
Perhaps this is a season of work. I genuinely enjoy my various roles; they keep me engaged. But I am also grateful to be working at a school where I can participate in Spring Break, if I so choose. So, this week, I’ve slept sans alarm clock, waking up to puppy kisses. I’ve practiced writing, read an entire book (pictured), and received grace by actually sitting in the sunshine with these amazing dogs who are quite chill compared to Woody (hope you’re playing on rainbow bridge, beloved). These doggos rest and rise like clockwork, favoring fetch and food over selfies. Carpe diem, carpe canes!
I also took a couple days off to rest before Spring Break, visiting my friend Kaitlyn in Seattle. We’re both introverted, so it was still some interpersonal work for both of us. Not focusing on time gave me rest. We spent time with her poodle Sirius, watched 2(!) movies in a row, and adventured to Pike’s Place, forests, and restaurants. Getting quality time with friends is one of my favorite activities, especially since I’ve been given great vacation time.
enjoying unplanned Peruvian delights and pup time.
I want to remember how loved ones have given me grace, through respecting my love languages of quality time, words, and touch.
I’m keeping my body, brain, and spirit open to new, fun, and learning opportunities, like dog-sitting and the possibility of keeping my Womxn in Progress series going, if people are still interested in being spotlighted. I’m receiving grace OUTSIDE myself, such as learning that I don’t know everything and therefore can’t control everything. Lately, I’ve received grace through listening, to myself, God, and others.
For example, my boyfriend and I are practicing “thereness” over perfection. We’ve shared sushi, words of encouragement, and hugs, even in public. Our relationship is work, but it’s so worth it. I need to remember that I am not responsible for his happiness. His expectations for his birthday, new home, and our relationship are his. Giving grace to a memory: he and I strolled through a park, sans shoes, and enjoyed the company of a couple of geese, leading to my new-found appreciation. The animals have evolved to transition from air to land to sea. Sitting in the sun, eagerly watching these 2-legged, 0-armed creatures waddle out of the water, I received grace. This unexpected warmth relieved my worry about making his birthday “perfect”, for a moment.
I also want to honor how much fun I’ve had with Magdalena of Womxn in Progress, where I starred in photos in front of the camera. We had the general location of downtown Denver planned, but most of our afternoon was spontaneous. I even updated the outfit, choosing a skirt with a bicycle design in honor of Womxn’s History Month, instead of anticipated slacks. So too the accessories changed, rotating based on mood, lighting, and background. We gave grace to our humanness, eating amazing Peruvian surf and turf (my ceviche is pictured) before going back to the photoshoot.
Grace can serve as responses to feedback of giving and getting.
I’m grateful friends hold me accountable when I’ve been working too much, and I see my obligations more clearly now. I so appreciate when my boss, boyfriend, and roomie Sam recognize my unintentional self-neglect, reminding me to sleep, grab food, or hydrate. I have to remember that collaboration exists. I don’t have to do any tasks alone, even the yearbook was a team effort! I’m actively trying to not tie my worth to my work and trying to savor these last few days of Spring Break. Even the dogs can tell when I’m trying to take pictures. They’d rather live in the moment and play!
Grace doesn’t always have to be an individual practice. Likewise, I don’t have to constantly plow through activities. Maybe soon I’ll stop over-scheduling. These grace meditations, published here or still in my head, help me take care of myself. They show me that I’ve received grace, not just given it, whether it was from the universe giving sunshine, amazing people, and finally feeling like Colorado’s home. I am SO grateful to be open to life. Phew! Over to you: how have you showed up for life? Has the world given you people or places as tokens of grace? How are you practicing self-kindness? Looking forward to your comments! My next “grace” post will be out on my half birthday, April 10th, on the first A of grace. See you then!