What have I learned about myself during these 4 months in my new home? By physically separating myself from my old life, I have formed a boundary, a space between what I was, who I associated with, and what I worked for. I’ve slooowly stripped myself away from many associations and have befriended solitude, favoring meditative walks in place of doom scrolls.
As I am now learning who I am by myself, I worry there’s a dissonance between how people back where I used to live think of me, how I viewed myself, and how I am starting to see myself. When I first moved here, I was simultaneously mentally blocked and overthinking, and I am starting to let that barrier go. I have moved to CO, it is an objective fact they’ll have to face. Those who have stayed with me through this move reassure me that my core is the same. I am curious, smart, kind, independent. And I am doing my best to show up as that same person now.
Yet at the same time, giving myself space has also changed me. As an INFJ, I like to be alone, but I like people, too, and have found organizations to fuel social, service-driven fun (Denver Film Fest, Girls on the Run, working for a school!). Making friends as a single adult is difficult in a new space, especially in a pandemic, but I am trying. I am grateful for shared spaces like my friends’ house where we live, coffee shoppes, farmers’ markets, and parks, and that’s resulted in some relationship building.
Where is my head, my heart this Thanksgiving? I will be back in WI and will try to show up graciously, especially for those who have called, texted, and video chatted with me over the last few months. With the knowledge that I am changing, I wonder, will my friends and family be different because of my absence? Will there be barriers between us? Will they share that they think of me differently because of the move? Have they changed? Have they paid attention to themselves?
CO feels like home, even as I am still making spaces to fill voids like pantry work. I may even get a side-hustle. Even though I am still exploring and learning, the not knowing of what’s in store is exciting. Getting lost on purpose and finding new spaces have helped me find myself.
Over to you: has anyone moved recently and discovered something about themselves through change? Or has the pandemic-induced isolation created opportunities for self-discovery?