I’ve survived nearly a month of grad school. From building foundations like librarian values to nuanced work to learn R Studio, I am engaging with so many materials and am savoring the feelings of being exactly in the right space! Being in such a place has given me access to so many new relationships and resources, from friends at the pantry, to ideas for my book draft, to new roles. I’m especially grateful for a new role in the Visual Media Center to apply these learnings, helping with digitizing, cataloging, and working on special projects. A few weeks in, I think I’ve found a groove between work, work study, coursework, and homework, along with the necessities that make me a person.
September 2023 brought commitment to a few goals:
- Research grad schools for my book, Omit to Commit
- Run for fun once/week, such as running without tech on my person or running as the sun rises/sets
- Finish bookcase by reading before bed nightly (or at least read 40 books, including 36 from my shelf and 4 or more for my book club!)
- Take myself on weekly dates
- Support a nonprofit org once/month with time or treasure
Cultivating and coding activities as essential helps prioritize, along with helping me do more than work all the time. Goals-wise, I’ve focused on exercising and reading, and so I am now at the gym about 2-3 times/week, along with a fun run 1/week. I know it may seem strange to call runs “fun”, but this is something I genuinely enjoy. Fun runs have looked like finding a cool in-between stop for caffeine, choosing a new location, and not worrying about length or pace. It’s enough of a routine that I make it happen, but it’s still fun because I make novelty out of exercise. How can I apply this to other habits?
Classes end at 9:30, but they’re not every day. So, if I’m not completely tuckered out, I have taken to reading through my bookshelf once more, often using my own materials for Omit to Commit! This has been incredibly gratifying, as I am spending less time on my phone, processing through reads in new ways, and finally working toward this goal. Sure, it’s not every day, but I love to read. Reminding myself that I don’t always have to read every single word for grad school helps, as well as the reminder that reading can be fun. So “light” reading is still fun and yes, important to my psyche.
Taking myself out on weekly dates looks a little different these days. I try to spend $0-$10 for these dates. Using my free theatre tickets from volunteering at the film fest has been fun, by myself and others. I saw Bottoms by myself this month, and it was terrific to be in such a space with other independent folks, guffawing throughout the show. Other self-dates are going to fairs, libraries, and sunset walking.
Volunteerism looked different this month. While I supported PawsCo in September with our annual fundraiser, Wags and Whiskers, shifts to my schedule meant less time volunteering. Wags was wonderful, though, celebrating a decade of giving animals another chance! We raised $75,000 and then an additional $30,000 thanks to a match. Volunteers, Board members, community friends, and so many more played a huge role. Thank you for making a difference!
Outside of written goals, two other essentials are regularly checking in with my people and participating in spiritual/religious practices. For example, my friend Julia and I went to Rosh Hashanah together at the Botanic Gardens, and it was so peaceful! Routines really help me see what I am capable of, providing spaces for homework but also nothing so I can simply be. Whether that’s being in the moment or being still, this is progress. DU runs on a quarterly system, so even though I’ve found some flow (even with late nights), such as a weekly community dinner with friends, this will all change in a couple months.
September 2023 brought progress toward these goals:
- Develop daily rotating ab/arm routines
- Continue swapping to vegan, sustainable, and local wares
I am working that blend of routine and fun to abs and arms, too. I used to visit the gym every weekday, before Covid. Other context matters: I am not the same person as 3, 5, 7 years ago. Working out in my 30s hits differently than 20s. So I am slowly building up my strength once again, taking my time to understand the machines once more and how my body responds. My back is surprisingly strong (thanks, childhood chiro?), but my abs need help. Even 5 minutes of abs every other day is more than 6 months ago.
Giving myself grace, being gentle with myself, matters. I tend to go hard and that’s a recipe for burnout or breaking down. And so acknowledging that my goal to veganism may have been one of those hard things for its own sake is helpful. Remembering my “why” attached to this helps. Health, animal welfare, and trying something new are all valid reasons. But if I don’t radically shift to veganism overnight, that’s okay too. Vegetarianism is more sustainable, for now. I’m getting more protein, essential fuel for workouts and muscle-building, and I am less worried on being “perfect.” Fun fact: I am a person, after all.
This month, I omitted work toward these 2023 goals:
- Start designing tiny house
- Visit France over spring break
- Make art for its own sake
Accepting I am not going to France anytime soon and also completely omitting tiny house work, I can focus on other bigger goals and seemingly smaller tasks. Anticipating my North Carolina trip next month has provided something to look forward to. It is truly a gift to have people everywhere. The older I get, the more vast the United States feels, which may seem surprising or even counterintuitive. I think this is because I am meeting friends from all over the US. In addition, all of the people I am closest to have very full lives, no matter where they are.
On some level, the States are similar, just with different landscapes; but on another, my favorite parts of living or seeing life can happen anywhere. I can read, run, work in a public space (working at a community college’s library in particular calls) anywhere, but I can’t see friends everywhere. I think that’s why the tiny house was such an intriguing idea, as I could befriend anyone, see commonalities and differences throughout the country, but still have my comforts (books, bed) in proximity. Friends, then, would be just a drive away.
Design captivates me, still. As I am still marketing full-time and writing when I can, design gives me a way to synthesize, feel, and express. But I haven’t done much tactical design work, lately. I have not done any work toward designing my future home, nor have I made art for its own sake. Maybe this is something I need to schedule, say for a self-date. Or maybe I can find something at DU. As Mar and I life-talked on, though, we both wanted to be artists when we grew up, and now that we’re here(?), there’s no excuses. Let’s just try making art and listen to ourselves.
All in all, September 2023 brought transitions. Processing through these feelings, it was essentially anxiety-inducing, as so much was new. Where to park? How to show up? What’s R? Where is everything, everyone? But now I can rest in the knowledge that I am making my new dreams and next chapters happen. That is s empowering. So, what are you working on? I know it’s easy to go all in, right away, but I am learning that going hard isn’t a sustainable practice for everything. How can you be gentle with yourself?