Today, I’m sharing ideas about myself. So, future me (and present you) can reflect on how one individual is staying committed. To craft, to faith, to a budding library and information science career.
First, craft. Blending creativity into my daily experiences is NOT hard. If I integrate it… Or at least, not gatekeep myself. For example, I have stopped qualifying “enoughness.” Some days, I journal. Page after page, my head finally releases its tumbling thoughts, and so my heart finally follows. Other days, I got nothing to share to the page, and instead later turn to post-its. Both are okay.
Staying committed to my craft includes being expansive of what craft even means. A researcher, journalist, and content writer at heart, do I need to operationalize “craft”? Sometimes, yes. Being a creative means not just thinking about new ways of connecting nodes. It means doing the creative work by actually making. Certainly, I have the 30th on this ‘ere blog to share what I’ve been making, as part of my “make new” series. If you haven’t read any, no sweat; these are experiments, exploring how and what I’m making each month. But staying committed to craft also means honing skills, and that can, in fact, co-exist with being less self-gatekept. So, what am I actually practicing?
Writing. That’s what I am committed to. No surprise there, huh? And yet! Writing new things is not the point. Sorry.
Staying committed to my craft includes maintaining a sense of childlike curiosity.
You know what I’m talking writing about: The can’t-mess-up-ness that most kids have. They are brave, and they may not even know it. (Your inner child may need to hear this: You are brave, just for showing up and being you!) Bravery is one of my key values, and it is so tied to curiosity, too.
Bravery is showing up. It is expressing your truth, even if it is scary, seemingly uncalled for, or an outlier. If you feel like an outsider, your story, YOU matter.
I feel so fortunate to have many people and places to share and express myself. Sometimes, writing is just for me, scribbling in a journal. Other times, my expression is loud, at church, at work, or at school.
And so, I stay committed to my craft o’ words through leaning in and expressing myself. In fact, I’ve started writing monologues. This is potentially in place of slam poetry (due in part to one of my fave Denver places, Mercury Cafe, shutting down earlier this year). Leaning in does not have to be complicated. Monologues are framed stories. And I am so excited to start considering myself a monologist, thank you very much.
And so, this ties to the next “thing” I’m staying committed to: Faith. That’s a big one. But it is so essential to my being, my spirit, and my relationship.
Today, April 20th, is Easter. At 10am, I am becoming a member of St. Mark’s, an Evangelical Lutheran Church. So official and on my favorite holiday too. (For those wondering, Arbor Day, in a few days, is my second favorite holiday.) Like my craft, staying committed to faith takes practice. Doing the things: Praying daily. Meditating almost daily. Going to services weekly. Or at least serving others almost daily, with an intentional nature day in place of service once/month with my partner, C!
Spirituality in particular is also deeply individual and community driven. So much of my self-love journey ties to replenishing a spirit of commitment. Loving who I am – right here, right now – has helped me love God.
Yes, I still have questions. And yes, I still support my partner’s Buddhism, such as chanting together. Our practices co-exist. It takes commitment and faith in each other. I know all my questions are valid. Love is still the answer, almost always.
I know that first loving myself, then learning how much God STILL loves me, and then entering a relationship a year ago was the correct order of things.
Faith is a way to connect commitments. I am stronger because of many communities, like my St. Mark’s community, my Aurora community, and my DU community. I’ve even started leaning into C’s Buddhist community! I do not want to hide this part of me, and I do not want others to feel they don’t belong, when spiritual groups may feel othering. In fact, the current pastor and I are talking about reconciliation work.
This leads to the last thing, and that’s staying committed to my current library path. In less than 2 months, I’m graduating with a master’s in library and information science. I now know that I want to support an academic institution with digital initiatives. A systems thinker, usability tester, former marketer, and current digital archivist, it just makes sense.
I am jumping 2 feet in. There’s a strange, paradoxical comfort in having a bunch of part-time roles. That’s been my life, lately. But I can’t stay: Code-switching and understanding different needs is hard, and I don’t want to burn out. I am ready for stability, and that includes using my multi-media talents for good. I have so many ideas, like encouraging public scholarship, developing multi-use repositories for storage and preservation of materials, and developing digital humanities projects. It’s so exciting to even qualify as a forward-thinking, full-time librarian! But that’s what I want… and who I am (almost)!
I have always been creative. And I am learning (virtual) collaborative skills, especially with this latest position. I have faith that this new, more directed path is for me. In fact, as I write this, I have a tab open for one job that shares so much of what I just shared above. I believe God’s got my back.
Choosing to let go of marketing almost a year ago was terrifying. I was a marketer for a decade! But I actually have not fully let this title go: I still make websites. I’m still designing materials. And using what I learned in UI/UX work. Marketing is similar but not the same as information science.
I AM grateful for what I have (and remain) committed to: A life driven by values. It is simpler but not always easier.
My life is still full, fun, and really, truly engaging. These last couple years of going back to church and school have shown me that I don’t have to let go of “everything.” I am still that capable, sometimes silly, and brave kid. I’m just more me.