Why Wait? Writing about Choice

It’s wild to think about, but only a week ago, I wrote the following:

I want to share what I’ve learned about opting in and out via book:

I have decided to opt out of parenting

It was the first thing I shared on a laundry list of choices, ranging from health to academia to religion. I purposely wrote in first person and tried to stick to present-day choices.

As of 24 hours ago, womxn across the country may not have this choice of parenting anymore.

In case you missed it, Roe v. Wade was overturned by the Supreme Court yesterday. This 1973 decision guaranteed federal constitutional protection of reproductive rights. Until now.

I know Republicans want to ban abortions through passing an amendment to the Constitution. But the immediate impact? Each state will decide what to allow.

When I moved to Colorado last year, I was drawn to Denver’s politics. Abortion remains legal in Colorado as it is a state law. In addition, there is no mandatory waiting period. We don’t have gestational restrictions either. There are exceptions to medical providers telling minors’ caregiver(s), and they can’t stop their child’s procedure.

However, CO state funding and Medicaid cannot pay for the procedure. But funding providers exist, such as Lilith Fund and La Frontera Fund.

Rather than be silent, I have chosen to share this with my Facebook friends, many of whom live in WI where abortions may become illegal:

Recent Planned Parenthood stats suggest 20+million folks with uteruses will not have access to legal abortion.

Choices assume you have the ability and accessibility of options.

Just because Colorado still legally allows abortion, doesn’t mean it’ll be easy, equitable, or accessible for all.

When I started writing this book, it was assumed certain choices were possible. And that’s privilege speaking. Now, in my writing, I will also be talking about accessibility, as much as agency.

In any choice, resources have to be considered. In the case of abortion, that’s at least $400 in the first trimester, transportation, time, perhaps even a place to sleep, childcare (since most abortions are for current parents).

In addition, because Colorado’s surrounded by states who are on the precipice of banning it, additional resources AKA providers and clinics will probably be stretched, emotionally, mentally, physically. On top of year 3 of COVID pandemonium.

And maternal deaths are on the rise, especially for people of color. In other words, this is life and death for the carrier.

I believe in empowerment and emancipation through agency:

• Freedom to make choices
• Freedom to say, “no”
• Freedom to change your mind
• Freedom of your body
• Freedom of your mind
• Freedom to become a parent
• Freedom to opt-out of parenting
• Freedom to protect others
• Freedom to protect yourself

This decision removes fundamental freedoms, and for that, I am angry.

I am pro-choice for so many reasons. Reproductive rights are more than abortion. It’s increasingly difficult to have children: the US feels more divided than ever before. SO many populations are vulnerable, from shifting economic infrastructures, to how we’re tackling COVID to mental health stigma.

And some people just don’t want to parent. I don’t.

Each person should have the choice to parent under their choice of conditions, too, but that’s not always the case. Personally? Many communities feel neither safe nor healthy right now. And that’s coming from a healthy, middle class white woman.

How about those who are marginalized or vulnerable? How about my friends who are not hetero, affluent, or mentally stable? Or would become a single parent? Or were raped? Or who find out the fetus is unhealthy? Or that they’re now unhealthy as a result?

There are SO many ways to define a family, and social infrastructures are changing. But if Roe v. Wade is overturned, it will primarily affect the disadvantaged. Well-resourced, connected folks will still get them. But it will continue to separate the States.

And so I must recognize what choices I can make, present and future.

I am learning to share my story here, opening my home to friends and family, and will be financially assisting pro-choice organizations. And as always, I want my readers here to know: you are not alone. You are welcome. Your choices are valid.

If you’d like to share your story, of opting in or out of parenting, consider filling out this form. I’d love to feature you in my book, all about making choices.