My partner’s at a conference all weekend. I’ve spent the last couple of days at work and at play. Not too much has changed, schedule-wise, though I’ve missed our daily hug. Chatter over coffee on intentions is one of our favorite rituals. Despite the temporary 2-hour time difference, he called while I was feasting on breakfast. After a 5-mile run this morning, I treated myself to a diner. And I welcomed the call, even though I was on a self-date.
As much as I think I’m intrinsically motivated, I know that’s not always true. Positive feedback, especially from folks I care about, is gratifying. I genuinely enjoy being reliable and others relying on me, even for seemingly simple things like picking up the call.
This penchant for being helpful, resourceful is both internally and externally motivated. My website is a reflection of that: I’ve posted my annual goals for years, framing content around habits, values, and actions. Sure, it’s mainly for me, an archive of reference materials: My goals set courses of action for the week, month, and often year ahead. They’re not always completed in a span of 365 days, but they often are. I love a project.
In that way, I hope this honesty – not just my systems and reflections – is useful. Admitting I’m still working on some goals year over year just means I’m still a work in progress. So that’s what I’m chewing on today. How do I reinforce goals, regardless of audience? Or when there isn’t a deadline? What are some intentions to keep me going?
- I want to finish things. Think: Website, book, research paper…
- Instead of consuming, I want to be creating.
- I want to be present and not judge my worth on action.
- Consider legacy. What’s the bigger picture?
Those last couple intentions are tricky intersections. Being grounded in the present while considering legacy has been on my mind lately. (I recently wrote about legacy here: Learning: Sneak Peak into ReStory – Hi, I’m Kaylie.).
Another thing I notice around these intentions? I don’t want to be an unfinisher of these goals. Projects create a sense of accomplishment. So, do I start creating false deadlines? Do I share with a few my big expectations for myself? I’ve created arbitrary deadlines for myself before: These blog posts are written and published every 10 days. What else?
A lot of this has to do with what I expect for myself. I must remember that others’ thoughts of me are not my business… even those folks I care about. Instead, caring for myself means choosing myself. That may sound easy, but after being a helper-type for so long, people-pleasing is an impulse. So, I have to remember I am in charge of my life. What a gift!