So much of life is measured… By seconds. Scores or rankings. Many of these are constructs. Units to organize, categorize, and just understand life.
Ultimately, life is time. It’s unknown how long we have. Grief feels like eons, endless in its lingering. Holding onto what was.
And yet. Life is not just these units. It’s the connections made between people, places, ideas. Including the seemingly lost time. Even grief has value. It gave me reframes, to regain time. It gave me purpose, a vision.
I intend to savor my time. Just as I am.
Sure, I still find myself organizing my days by time and space. Often dependent on where I am, and the roles I play, I am… An archivist, a librarian, a runner, a writer, a sister, a partner, a follower of God, a leader. These roles help me understand how I wade through time. They are intersections of my identities. I am all of them, sometimes all at once.
How can I ensure I’m spending time, but not losing it? Where does savoring fit in? Perhaps in the unscheduled times. Maybe it’s in the flow, like today’s run when I finally let go of all the scramblin’ thoughts (of running a marathon in 4 months, opening a branch in 3 weeks, of Grandma’s birthday just days ago).
Serenity comes from seeing when I need to slow down. Savoring takes stillness. And that is my hope for today.