I was wrong multiple times today.
I pride myself on being time. Early when possible, buffers give peace of mind. Is this penchant for timeliness performative? Perfectionistic? People-pleasing?
A former value of mine is punctuality, what I now see is time-chunking. However, this time obsession sometimes prevents taking life as it is.
So today’s lesson is one of humility.
An archival consultant, I have worked with this individual for over 2 years now. They live an hour away from me. Before I dropped my partner C off, I had a gut feeling to bring my consulting things with me and just get to work. Instead, I went home to errands and para-social relationships, staying for an hour.
I could blame missed merges, lane closures, construction, and school slowdowns, but it’s really me. For the first time ever, I was 20 minutes late. I texted update after update, emojis increasingly frustrated. And my friend on the other end? Wishing me safe travels, content to start late.
I survived. We started and ended later. And I lived to tell the tale.
But there were other reasons why I ate humble pie today! Not only am I wrong why I think people like me. It’s not that I please them. It’s that I’m honest. Communicate. Am reliable (most of the time). Human (all of the time).
Further, I don’t know why people like me or not. That’s not my business.
My humanity matters more than some false perfection. Consistency matters. Showing up, even late, is what counts.
And another thing that counts?
My watch. I was also wrong about how many steps tonight’s run netted me. I’d like to think I understand my jogging, running, and sprinting paces, especially since I’m running every other day and running a marathon in September (that’s 2 of my goals for the year).
Yet today’s interval training helped me realize I put a ton of emphasis on exercise (as in, “I’m going for a run!”) and need to integrate movement throughout the day, every day. Sure, tonight’s workout was a fun challenge of running, then 15-second sprints, 12 times.
Since most of the day was at a desk or in a car, I had less steps going into the workout. And hence, I put too much pressure on the run. As I type this, I have 2100 additional steps to get my step goal for the day. Or rather, get my watch’s suggested step goal.
Humility teaches me to be grateful in this present moment. Tonight’s run was unique. Construction, both on wheels and on feet, felt endless. Yet today feels honest and true. There’s no need for rushing or performing an arbitrary perfect. I’m not pleasing anyone if I’m seeking happiness outside myself. I’m especially not helping myself.
Instead, I am taking the time. I’ll leave a little earlier. Hopefully, I’ll run a little farther. Or at least get some good ol’ jumping jacks in while working. Each of these lessons are helping me grow into patience and humility. Even traffic is a gift. Who knew?